Fairest of them All
by Lirenel
Summary: *Challenge 5: White* Peter attempts to relax one sunny day, but Edmund's annual rant interrupts him...as always. Any warnings can be found on my profile.


**Title: **Fairest of them All**  
Disclaimer: **I do not own the Chronicles of Narnia or anything found therein.**  
Note: **The answer to challenge 5: White. This was going to be an introspective Peter piece, along the lines of _Seeing Red_. Then I remembered watching an interview with William Mosely talking about how he picked on Skander Keynes (those two _really _act like brothers sometimes) and everything I planned got thrown out the window in favor of this. At least it's a different vein from the rather depressing fics I've been turning out recently.

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With silent steps, a young man with golden hair crept silently through the halls of Cair Paravel. High King Peter, for that is who it was, quietly poked his head through a door searching for any signs of life, whether sibling or courtier or random Talking Bluebird. Nothing. He smiled and slipped onto the balcony, settling himself with a sigh upon the reclined chair that was its sole occupant. Putting his feet up on the rail Peter leaned back, laying his head on his arms and closing his eyes as he soaked in the summer sun. Peace reigned, silent, glorious peace. Eyes closed, Peter felt himself drifting off to sleep as the golden silence wrapped itself around him.

"I hate you."

Peter sighed, not opening his eyes as the golden silence was smashed into little golden pieces. "Hullo, Ed."

"Well, I hate the girls too, but not nearly as much as I hate you."

Without turning, Peter could still picture the sixteen-year old glowering at him from the shadows behind him. "Why do you hate us, Ed?" he asked with resignation, knowing he could not escape this particular argument. Ever.

"You! You, with your scruffy, blond hair, you should be the one whiter than, than…than a rabbit in winter!"

"You know, not all rabbits turn white…"

Edmund, as usual, ignored his older brother. "You should be whiter than a rabbit in winter, but noooo. You spend _three seconds_ in the sun and you are completely tan!"

Peter frowned. "It takes a little more than three seconds. Not that I ever get more than three seconds to myself in order to actually _get _some sun," he added in a disgusted mutter.

"The girls are hardly any better! Lucy spends so much time outside that if we put her in a turban she could walk around Tashbaan without anyone noticing!"

At that, Peter opened one eye. "Hey, that could actually be a good idea…"

Edmund scowled at the interruption before continuing his rant. "And Susan! She is nearly as white as I am, but does it matter? No! Do you know why?"

Peter rolled his eyes before closing them again, ignoring his brother in favor of the heat of the day.

"The sun does not _touch _her. It is as if the sun is _scared_ to mar her _beautiful_ face with freckles or color or…"

"Wrinkles?"

Edmund paused at that. "Wrinkles? Really? I suppose I can see sun exposure causing wrinkles, especially after meeting Halus…." He trailed off, crossing his arms and glaring at his brother's blond head. "You are getting me off topic."

Peter apologized, despite the fact that getting Edmund off topic was precisely what he was trying to do.

"Apology accepted. Wait, where was I again?"

"Susan."

"Right. She can spend an entire day walking around in the sun and nothing ever happens. It's not fair. It's not _just._" Edmund actually sounded scandalized at that last part. The younger king sighed. "I think the Witch put a curse on me, a curse to keep me forever white."

This would have probably upset Peter a bit more if he had not already heard this rant at least once a year, every year, for the past six years. "The Witch did not put a curse on you Edmund," he said in a bored monotone that reflected how many times he had said this before. "I distinctly remember in Spare Oom that I once attempted to convince Susan that if you wore white clothes and we pushed you in the snow you would completely disappear." He actually did not _distinctly_ remember the incident anymore, but as he had the first time the brothers had this conversation Peter thought it still counted.

Edmund gave a 'harumph'. "It is still not fair."

He continued along this vein for awhile until Peter had had _enough_ and interrupted. "You know what you could do about this, Ed, that would give us _all_ a bit of peace?"

The younger brother eyes the elder warily. "What?"

Lifting his head so that he was looking at Edmund almost upside down, Peter grinned. "You could _not_ fall asleep on the beach in the middle of summer."

The High King heard Edmund growl incoherently and then hobble delicately away, muttering all the while about how his brother was an insensitive prat.

Peter sighed and settled himself once more into a comfortable position in his chair, eyes now closed against the bright sun. "I know you hate being white, Ed," he told the wind with a smile in his voice, "but it is a _much_ better color on you than pink."

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I mean, really. Watching LWW and seeing pictures from Prince Caspian, Edmund is so incredibly pale. It works well in the movie, especially when he's a captive of the White Witch and adds to the effect of his suffering, but he's just _so_ pale.

Oh, and in the William Moseley interview? Apparently Skandar got sunburn on the back of his legs and Will slapped them and laughed as Skandar attempted to delicately hobble after him, yelling. Ah, yes, very much brother-like. D


End file.
